New Purchases

Most of this post is pictures as I do not have much new to report. My back hurts like a mo fo and I periodically have chest pain. That's about it. My next appointment is July 8th and I plan on asking about it. So, enjoy the show!

#1 A Swimming Suit

Do not proceed with this post if you have a queezy stomach or are easily nausiated as the following pictures could cause outrageous bouts of vomiting. I bought a swim suit cause I was tired of swimming in shorts and a t-shirt. The first one you see is with the cover up which will probably never come off in public. The second one is my beauty queen swim suit pose without the cover up.

These next pictures are of me in some of my origional pants. I actually think I wore these pants to my pre op stuff the day before my surgery.

These were some of my favorite pants and I tried to still wear them to work the other day but it just did not work out. I was cinching up the belt every 5 seconds for fear that they would fall to the ground.

#2 I bought another new pair of jeans

These jeans are my favorite thing I have bought so far. Okay. When I hold them up to fold them and put them on the hanger, they look small. They do not look like they belong to me. I used to hold up my jeans and triple fold them to hang them on a hanger. These are like little jeans that skinny bitches who shop at abercrombie and fitch wear. I love them!

LOOK AT THE BOOTIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That is amazingness!!!

Teenville!!

Okay, so I hit "teenville" this weekend. I went shopping with a friend and just for kicks I tried on a size 18 bermuda shorts. They fit!! I have not worn a size 18 pants since my senior year in high school. That was the goal that I could not wait for. To reach teenville with my bottoms. They don't even cut off my circulation! Oh and also in this picture, would be the regular sized shirt from Old Navy. No women's or plus size shirts for me. My arms look kinda nasty with the flapping skin like a tree squirrel sailing from tree to tree but I don't really care!

I cannot weigh myself again until my next doctor's appointment which is not until July 8th. I used the crappy scale in the bathroom and it says 235 but I'm not too sure I beleive it. I feel bad as there is not much else interesting to report. I eat regular food now but I can only eat small amounts. I usually just don't eat and have to remind myself to eat. I had the smallest most minute peice of chicken enchilada pie today and it was the most delectible thing I have tasted in a long time. Three bites and I was full.

My next goal is titled, "One-ville". That would consist of weighing an amount in the 100's. The day I weigh 199 I am gonna do a little jig and will most likely not be able to contain my excitement. I will be calling and or texting all of you!

LEVIS!!

It's been a while since my last post so there are a couple things to mention. First of all, I had my most recent doctor's appointment last Tuesday and I am down to 266 which is a total loss of 44 pounds. I was so excited that I stopped by the store to purchase myself a littlle somethin somethin as a celebratory thing. I started out at a size 26 and was able purchase bottoms in a 20 and tops in a 14/16. I am so excited! One more size down and I will be in teenville! I have not been in teenville since I was a senior in high school. So, one of the things I purchased was a pair of jeans. All of my jeans were literally falling off so I knew I needed to purchase a new pair especially when a friend from work said something. Apparantly my underwear show a lot because my jeans are sagging "innapropriatley low". Whatever. So I purchased a pair of Levi's. I have not worn regular Levi's in like forever. They are not techinally fat lady jeans. They are not Venezia from Lane Bryant which is the only kind of denim I have worn in the last 9 years. I got a shirt that is a 1x. I used to have to pick out the 3x and then hope that it would fit.

Look at the bootie in these jeans.

I am so happy. I am excited. I can't wait for all of it to come off. Even now, where I am at right now I can feel a difference. Little things that have to do with stuff other than how I look. I went to a friends recital last night at the local college here. The room was filled with those "mini" college desks. The ones that Jackie knows I hate. Half my ass fits in it while the other half awkwardly bulges over on either side of the desk. I grasp the little 10 X12 inch peice of wood they have placed for me to write on. I don't use it to write on; instead I use it to grasp onto for dear life so I don't go sprawling onto the floor. Oh, I hated those desks in college. Anywho, went to the recital and walked into the room and saw those desks. Started to get a little nervous. Teeny tiny beads of sweat. Then, I sat down. Then, I CROSSED MY LEGS!! I crossed my legs in one of the college, barbie, mini desks. It was comfortable. It was easy to sit in and I did not feel like my ass was going to fall off after sitting in it for ten minutes.

It is the little things like that. Those are the things I am enjoying the most. The way that I fit in my car now without the steering wheel hitting my stomach. I can cross my legs now. I can walk 3 miles a night on the treadmill without going into heart failure. I can walk into a room and be confident. Somewhere in the middle of all of this I realized that I am hot. One sexy bitch. It is not impossible for me to find someone. I will be happy someday. I am pretty. This is the best thing that has ever happened to me.

My Magic Shoes!

Okay. So, I am totally excited about exercising because it is getting so much easier to move around and to exert myself. I have been walking a lot lately but when I go for a walk I wear my Birkenstocks or my adidas swimming flip flops. I decided that as a serious athlete, I needed a serious pair of shoes. I mean, if I'm serious about making it into the 2012 Olympics in cheery old London, I have got to get myself an olympic level pair of sneakers. I walked into the store looking for some of the high class tenniss shoes from my day. Keep in mind that I have not purchased tennis shoes since like 8th grade. I had some good old LA Gears in mind or maybe a pair of Nikes with the air pump on the tongue of the shoe. Beleive it or not, they do not have those anymore. I selected a pair of Puma's that were adorably white and pink. The man brought them to me in a 10 and when I went to try them on I noticed that the tongue of the shoe was fringed. Like a golf shoe fringed. I asked the man if they were golf shoes and he affirmed that they in fact were golf shoes. If my chosen sport for the 2012 olympics was golf I would have been all over them but alas, I need running shoes. I then upped my budget and selected another pair. They did not have my size but he brought me another pair instead. I loved them!! But, they were 90 dollars. He could tell that I was not okay with that so due to my incredible sex appeal and hotness he gave me the hot skinny B discount. I am so excited and cannot wait to run a marathon around the block. Check these babies out!!

Now... check me out with them on. I think I look like Flo Jo. Their shiny like snake skin. They have the shocky thingys. They are incredible. Warning, before looking at the next picture. I could not find the black shorts from last time so I wore panty hose. Again, warning.

These shoes are remarkable. They make we wanna do some aerobics, tae bo, yoga, pilates, and buy a boflex. As soon as I put them on I automatically am compelled to go into a well choreographed aerobic routine.

I have 3 years and 2 months left to train. London baby! Cheerio!!

Protien!

So, as I have stated before, I am supposed to take in 60-65 grams of protien a day. It sucks. Protien shakes taste like donkey balls whether they are pre mixed and ready to drink or the powder. I have discovered the most amazing way to make a protien shake and I can actually choke it down. It is actually borderline tasty. I know that a few of my readers (okay, so I know there are only four people who read this but humor me). A few of my readers have husbands that are power pumping gym rats so you can share this with them as well.

First, you have to have a magic bullet. This is one of the most amazing inventions ever. You can see the infomercial usually on a Friday or Saturday night between 2 and 4 in the morning.

Next you place a scoop of protien powder into the cup. You can choose your brand of protien but for this recipe it would need to be chocolate flavored.

Next, add about 6-8 ounces of milk and one or two ice cubes.

Then add a heaping tablespoon of peanut butter.

It is optional to add half a bananna and a teaspoon of splenda. Personally, the bananna makes me wanna hurl. So, the next step for me is to blend.

Pure deliciousness.

Gettin Better

So I finally took off some of the strips of tape that go up and down the incision. I was told to keep them on and just let them fall off on their own but I can't wait anymore. It is disgusting to think I have not washed the area under the tape for a month. I only took it off in places that are mostly healed and don't need the tape to hold it together.

I read in my little book of "gastric bypass info" that the pulling apart does not happen very often. It only happens in 20 percent of patients and only in "severely obese abdomens". Well, I guess that's me. Of course that has to happen to me. Just like they told me that only 10 percent of people wake up from surgery with the tube still down their throat. That was me. He said that the only issues I will have because of the pulling apart is that it will take longer to fully heal and the scar will be worse.

I made some of the cutest birthday cupcakes ever yesterday. I am a bad friend because yesterday was the recipients actual birthday and I sent them yesterday so they will not get there till like 4 days after the celebratory day. It was gonna cost me 45 dollars to ship them overnight. That was not gonna happen. Anywho, making cupcakes without tasting any of the batter is a difficult feat. Then, you have to frost them. Again, no tasting. It sucked donkey balls. Baking was always one of my favoritest things but now it is just one big ball of temptation and torture. I wish I would of taken a picture of them because number one, they were freaking adorable. Number two, it may have been my last hooray with baking.

3-29-09

Thanks a lot Michelle for scarin the crap out of me! Just kidding. I know it looks gross. That is why I posted it. Thought it would make for good viewing. Did I get a gag reflex or a little bit of vomit from anyone? I am not allowed to put anything on it for the itching. I have an appointment on the 9th for him to look at it again. I think everything is fine because it does not smell and it is not hot. I was told to smell the wound and if it stinks then it is infected. Sounds gross and is gross but I did it and there is no stench. I was also told that if the wound radiates heat then it could be infected. Does not do that either. It looks disgusting and has yellow puss oozing and crusting but apparantly that is not on the list of things to look for when deciding if your incision is infected.

The sexy hot beast amidst the words of this mad blog is me. Are those shorts hot or what? Not much difference yet but I want to document everything for myself so I do not forget my fat girl heritage. Some aspects of my culture include but are not limited to: fried cheeseticks, stretchy pants, hot fudge sundaes, giant underwear, Lane Bryant, deep fried twinkies, and swimsuits with skirts.

3-26-09

Gross!I am feeling a lot better lately. Getting pretty close to back to normal. I can get up and down and do pretty much everything like I did before. I remember two weeks ago I could not even get up from a laying down position in the morning by myself. My only worry is how seperated my incision is at the top. The right picture shows the top portion. The incision is stretched apart right there and there is a yellow crust forming. Pure grossness. The bottom portion is healing nicely I think. The only part that hurts is the top part where it is pulling apart. The whole thing pretty much itches like a bitch. I wish at times that I could take a hair brush and run it up and down the length of this valley running down my gigantic belly. To the left of the incision you can see a vertical red mark. That is where I itched it so hard it bled. I was bleeding through my shirt. I itch it in the middle of the night and I don't even know until I wake up in the morning.

The incision comes in handy for one thing and one thing only. Sympathy. I lift up my shirt and flash that incision and suddenly Sophia is helping me with anything and everything. "Auntie, do you need a bottle of water? Auntie, can I get you anything? Do you need help with anything?" It is absolutley fantastic.

Mommy

I love my mom. Seriously. I know that everyone loves their mom but I really love my mom. Seriously, I think I was super lucky when I got assigned to my mom. I actually like her as a person. She took time off work when I had my surgery to travel here to Oklahoma and help me. She waited for me to have the surgery, then she waited for me to wake up for the surgery. That took an entire day. She swabbed my mouth with water sponges. She helped me walk. She helped me go to the bathroom. She showered me. She dressed me. She removed staples from my incision. She was pretty much amazing. I 100% thought I was going to die when she had to go home.

I actually like talking to her too. It is not a chore to call my mom. I feel bad sometimes because I talk her ear off for an hour and a half. We talk at least twice a week. Whenever something funny happens I want to call her and tell her about it. If I see something that I know she would like or something she would want to see, I take a picture and send it to her. Like a little kid, I want to share everything with her at the end of every day.

My mom gives selflessly and loves wholeheartedly. I am the luckiest person in the world when it comes to mothers. I could not have a better one. I love her to the moon and back.

3-21-09

The doctor told me that it would be best to let the incision breathe every once in a while. He said that when I was resting or relaxing I could take the binder off and lift my shirt. I was laying on the couch today and crocheting so I let it all hang out. I took a pic while I was laying there. It severely grossed Nikkik out. I think she have gone into a state of shock and nearly passed out as I heard groaning and gag noises coming from her direction. It seems to be healing but it is coming apart in certain areas and that scares me. There are also some areas that I just refer to a "grody". Hopefully my next appointment reveals the same information as the previous and that is that I do not have a gangreenous infection billowing by mountains of puss out of my abdominal area.

3-20-09

I went in to work today to visit with everyone and see about going back on Monday. I have decided to go back to work but more than likely part time. I will work 7 am to about 11 am. I am so nervous about going back to work. During the first part of my time off it felt like it would never end and going back to work seemed so far away. Now it is looming over me and I am worried. I know I have to go back eventually. I'm feelin super sore today but I know it is probably all in my head because I know that I have to go back to work soon.

I went grocery shopping today and I looked at the labels for the first time ever. Do you know how many grams of sugar there are in tomato soup?!?! I bought shrimp, fruits, veggies, special K bars, soup, and protien cereal. Weirdest shopping trip I have ever been on. New for me to come home with food that does not need to be prepared with a deep fryer.

I am also having an issue with my protien drinkage. I have a powder that has 23 grams of protien per serving. I have to drink three of those shakes per day to get my full amount of protien. I am now apparantly lactose intolerant and milk tears me up. The powder is chocolate so mixed with water it causes some dry heavage issues. Now, there is a pre mixed juice type drink that I can use that has 40 grams of protien in it. That is two thirds of my daily protien. The issue is that the drink costs $2.59. My thought is this. I used to pay 5 dollars a pack for cigarettes and I smoked a pack a day. Now I will only be paying $2.59 a day. I'm thinkin it would not be ridiculous to buy 15 of those juices a payday. It would cost less than cigarettes did.

Well, my next appointment is April 9th. Hopefully I am still blood clot free and not dying of gang green. :)